Hilarious Fourth Of July Quotes | 4th Of July Quotes Funny
This July 4th, I’m certainly not above a Jim Beam-fueled “U-S-A” chant.
All great change in America begins at the dinner table. — Ronald Reagan
America’s family. We all yell at each other, and it all works out. — Louis C.K.
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic. -Dan Rather
I didn’t buy fireworks. I’m setting my neighbor’s car on fire instead.- Jeff Tamblyn
It’s Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas. — Stephen Colbert
Let’s enjoy one of the last Independence Days before our complete dependence on China.
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You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning. — Jon Stewart
He makes me melt like a popsicle on the Fourth of July. – Darla from The Little Rascals
In England, the Declaration of Independence is known as “old junk mail.”- Damon Hunzeker
The Fourth of July, when we get to play our favorite American guessing game — fireworks or gunshots.
I always forget it’s America’s birthday since I’m not friends with it on facebook.- Leon from Mathclass
I like Independence Day. It’s the one night a year when I can promise my husband fireworks.- Melanie White
It’s 4th of July. You know what that means… Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
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4th of July is coming up and you know what that means! Time to use Sparklers as wands and shoot spells at people again!
When you’re born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front-row seat. -George Carlin
And one day people will celebrate this day by getting shit-faced and lighting Chinese explosives on — Thomas Jefferson 1776. — Zach Braff
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it. -Stephen Colbert
I always have the most fun on the Fourth of July. You don’t have to exchange any gifts. You just go to the beach and watch the fireworks. — James Lafferty
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse. Happy 4th of July!!
So, on July 4th, one of the hottest days of the year, we’re all going to sit outside of our air-conditioned homes and cook over a fire- Just Bill